Tuesday, December 19, 2006 / 7:42 PM
The FACTS about AUNTIES (and how I'm NOT one.)
by nicole.
I hereby declare that I'm not suffering from middle age syndrome. Yet. Why did I say that? That's because my mom wanted me and my not so baby cousin out of the house while she and my dad attempted to paint the house the oh-so-lovely international gay colour of purple. Okay Andrea, I know you like purple and all but pardon me it's juat so not right to turn my house into the international gay house. [no offence to anyone!] Going back to the topic, I wanna clarify that I am no aunty despite that green bulky bag filled with cookies and sweets and an umbrella that I carried today. Though the purple and pink water bottle my cousin left me to carry did not make things any better, (it made my image all the worst!) I am still NO aunty!
So here's to confirm that my analyse of myself is right.
Fact 1:
Aunties is the equivilant of middle age, and a higher chance of being housewives would most definitely know how to sweep the floor. Have you ever seen any aunties dragging the broom behind them and walking?? No. They hold it with such experience, they could become experts at it.
And truth be told, I can't sweep the floor. Not only so, like I boldly proclaim ( in front of a bu
nch of people in Pasir Ris park-) "Does it look like I know how to hold a broom??!!!" Sure, I made a pretty good joke out of myself, but you get the picture. And even with the invention of vacuum cleaners, the only one I know how to handle is the kind that my parents bought for me when I was pirmary 3, pink, hello-kitty and all.
Need I elaborate more?
Fact 2:
"BOY!! don't go near that men. Later he catch you and eat you up ar..Then you know la! Come back here now..." Find this sort of phrase familiar?? As a child I often wondered where all this kidnappers come from. Years on at age 7 or so, I begin to think that all men are kidnappers. At my current sweet 16, I've sweared off men. Ironical. But you get my point, why do all aunties say this?? Protect their child perhaps, but it's so embarrassing!
I remember a few months back when me and Andrea were at Bugis, I went off to get a drink while drea waited at the side for me. The woman in front of me told her child "GIRRRRRLL, you want to die is it? Walk off like that, kena catch then you know la!"
You would most definitely not catch me saying that. For instance, I always tell my cousin when she wanders away that she's a naughty girl and she being desperate to be a good girl so she can get sweets would be by my side in an instant. See the massive difference??
Fact 3:
I do not wear my pyjamas out of the house or to anywhere. Gosh, I don't even own pyjamas. But I've got simply no understanding as to why Aunties of all ages simply adore to wear their pjs out of the house. And the worse part is that they wear their low-class, loose-fitting "dress" with heels! Understandable about the part where they at their age seek 
comfort first. BUT... with heels??? That's like outrageously soooo wrong. And what I just wrote was an understatement.
I was at NTUC a long time back with my Mom and as I was looking for something called Cinammon, this woman strutted past me. Heels checked. Long straight hair checked. Make-up checked. Branded Prada bag checked. pyjamas..checked! Explain to me what is the point of going to the extent of dolling up, but only to wear your pyjamas in the end?
Fact 4:
Only aunties would stare at me when I'm in the train with my cousin today. One very bling-bling aunty even 
had the guts to point at me, eyes round and weary. Clearing her throat she 'whispered' to her daughterr in Chinese about how a girl should be decent and not engage in the wrong stuff or else she will regret for the rest of her life. How thoughtful of this certain lady to be worried and concern for my future.. But which part of her common sense did she not have?? My cousin is only a mere age of 5 and still, she's pretty big-boned and can even pass for the age of 6 or 7. Does it look like a girl of my size can actually have a kid at age of 10??? Geez. thanks alot aunty.
Me, on the other hand, am cool about this sorta stuff. Just as long as its fine by you, its fine by me. No comments, no worries.
Fact 5:
Aunties who drink coffee go "Kopi-O" or "Kopi-si" and not "Can I have an ice-blended coffee mocha pls?". That said, I rest my case. Period.
On to my "some might say" ramblings for today, ANDREA..you're missed!! As to prove this, here's us hoping to be in HongKong with you!!!
And while you are there, I am still hoping that you would be able to get the autograph of a certain cute Taiwanese actor whom I've heard would be in HK!
And Yupp, I'm beginning to feel the lost of having you around. For one, I've you to chat with at nights. Second, when I'm pissed or angry or upset at a certain someone and else one, you'll gladly let me complain and sulk. Thirdly, when I'm bullied, you're there to defend moi. Geez, i do miss you so. If by any chance you get some form of civiliazation at your hotel and manage to read this, I'M missing YOU, so get back to spore quick!
Till the adventures come again, Nicole out.
` US.
You wanna know more about us?
Be pretty sure!
Spunky, naughty, playful, cheery.
Mommy and daughter by day,
Talkative friends by night.
Black and PINK online!
Black is known as Nicole,
Pink is Andrea.
Together, we are besties forever!
Contact us at:
black_loves_pink@hotmail.com
It's BLACK vs PINK.
` OUR story.
Aunties is the equivilant of middle age, and a higher chance of being housewives would most definitely know how to sweep the floor. Have you ever seen any aunties dragging the broom behind them and walking?? No. They hold it with such experience, they could become experts at it.
nch of people in Pasir Ris park-) "Does it look like I know how to hold a broom??!!!" Sure, I made a pretty good joke out of myself, but you get the picture. And even with the invention of vacuum cleaners, the only one I know how to handle is the kind that my parents bought for me when I was pirmary 3, pink, hello-kitty and all.
"BOY!! don't go near that men. Later he catch you and eat you up ar..Then you know la! Come back here now..." Find this sort of phrase familiar?? As a child I often wondered where all this kidnappers come from. Years on at age 7 or so, I begin to think that all men are kidnappers. At my current sweet 16, I've sweared off men. Ironical. But you get my point, why do all aunties say this?? Protect their child perhaps, but it's so embarrassing!
comfort first. BUT... with heels??? That's like outrageously soooo wrong. And what I just wrote was an understatement.
had the guts to point at me, eyes round and weary. Clearing her throat she 'whispered' to her daughterr in Chinese about how a girl should be decent and not engage in the wrong stuff or else she will regret for the rest of her life. How thoughtful of this certain lady to be worried and concern for my future.. But which part of her common sense did she not have?? My cousin is only a mere age of 5 and still, she's pretty big-boned and can even pass for the age of 6 or 7. Does it look like a girl of my size can actually have a kid at age of 10??? Geez. thanks alot aunty.
And while you are there, I am still hoping that you would be able to get the autograph of a certain cute Taiwanese actor whom I've heard would be in HK!